The Ten Commandments by Thomas Watson
2. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
2.5 The Fifth Commandment
'Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long
upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.' Exod xx 12.
Having done with the first table, I am next to speak of the
duties of the second table. The commandments may be likened to
Jacob's ladder: the first table respects God, and is the top of the
ladder that reaches to heaven; the second respects superiors and
inferiors, and is the foot of the ladder that rests on the earth. By
the first table, we walk religiously towards God; by the second, we
walk religiously towards man. He cannot be good in the first table
that is bad in the second. 'Honour thy father and thy mother.' In
this we have a command, 'honour thy father and thy mother;' and,
second, a reason for it, 'That thy days may be long in the land.'
The command will chiefly be considered here, 'Honour thy father.'
I. Father is of different kinds; as the political, the ancient,
the spiritual, the domestic, and the natural.
[1] The political father, the magistrate. He is the father of
his country; he is to be an encourager of virtue, a punisher of
vice, and a father to the widow and orphan. Such a father was Job.
'I was a father to the poor, and the cause which I knew not, I
searched out.' Job xxix 16. As magistrates are fathers, so especially
the king, who is the head of magistrates, is a political father; he
is placed as the sun among the lesser stars. The Scripture calls
kings, 'fathers.' 'Kings shall be thy nursing fathers.' Isa xlix 23.
They are to train up their subjects in piety, by good edicts and
examples; and nurse them up in peace and plenty. Such nursing
fathers were David, Hezekiah, Josiah, Constantine, and Theodosius.
It is well for a people to have such nursing fathers, whose breasts
milk comfort to their children. These fathers are to be honoured,
for -
(1) Their place deserves honour. God has set these political
fathers to preserve order and harmony in a nation, and to prevent
those state convulsions which otherwise might ensue. When 'there was
no king in Israel, every man did that which was right in his own
eyes.' Judges xvii 6. It is a wonder that locusts have no king, yet
they go forth by bands.
(2) God has promoted kings, that they may promote justice. As
they have a sword in their hand, to signify their power; so they
have a sceptre, an emblem of justice. It is said of the Emperor
Marcus Aurelius, that he allotted one hour of the day to hear the
complaints of those who were oppressed. Kings place judges as
cherubim about the throne, for distribution of justice. These
political fathers are to be honoured. 'Honour the king.' 1 Pet ii
17. This honour is to be shown by a civil respect to their persons,
and a cheerful submission to their laws; so far as they agree and
run parallel with God's law. Kings are to be prayed for, which is a
part of the honour we give them. 'I exhort that supplications,
prayers, intercessions, be made for kings, that we may lead a quiet,
peaceable life, in all godliness and honesty.' I Tim ii 1. We are to
pray for kings, that God would honour them to be blessings; that
under them we may enjoy the gospel of peace, and the peace of the
gospel. How happy was the reign of Numa Pompilius, when swords were
beaten into ploughshares, and bees made hives of the soldiers'
helmets!
[2] There is the grave ancient father, who is venerable for old
age; whose grey hairs are resembled to the white flowers of the
almond-tree. Eccl xii 5. There are fathers for seniority, on whose
wrinkled brows, and in the furrows of whose cheeks is pictured the
map of old age. These fathers are to be honoured. 'Thou shalt rise
up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man. Lev
xix 32. Especially those are to be honoured who are fathers not only
for their seniority, but for their piety; whose souls are
flourishing when their bodies are decaying. It is a blessed sight to
see springs of grace in the autumn of old age; to see men stooping
towards the grave, yet going up the hill of God; to see them lose
their colour, yet keep their savour. They whose silver hairs are
crowned with righteousness, are worthy of double honour; they are to
be honoured, not only as pieces of antiquity, but as patterns of
virtue. If you see an old man fearing God, whose grace shines
brightest when the sun of his life is setting, O honour him as a
father, by reverencing and imitating him.
[3] There are spiritual fathers, as pastors and ministers.
These are instruments of the new birth. 'Though ye have ten thousand
instructors, yet have ye not many fathers; for in Christ Jesus I
have begotten you through the gospel.' 1 Cor iv 15. The spiritual
fathers are to be honoured in respect of their office. Whatever
their persons are, their office is honourable; they are the
messengers of the Lord of Hosts. Mal ii 7. They represent no less
than God himself. 'Now then we are ambassadors for Christ.' 2 Cor v
20. Jesus Christ was of this calling; he had his mission and
sanction from heaven, and this crowns the ministerial calling with
honour. John viii 18.
These spiritual fathers are to be honoured 'for their work's
sake.' They come, like the dove, with an olive branch in the mouth;
they preach glad tidings of peace; their work is 'to save souls.'
Other callings have only to do with men's bodies or estates, but the
minister's calling is employed about the souls of men. Their work is
to redeem spiritual captives, and turn men 'from the power of Satan
unto God.' Acts xxvi 18. Their work is 'to enlighten them who sit in
the region of darkness,' and make them 'shine as stars in the
kingdom of heaven.' These spiritual fathers are to be 'honoured for
their work's sake;' and this honour is to be shown three ways: -
(1) By giving them respect. 'Know them which labour among you
and are over you in the Lord, and esteem them very highly in love
for their work's sake.' 1 Thess v 12, 13. I confess the scandalous
lives of some ministers have been a great reproach, and have made
the 'offering of the Lord to be abhorred' in some places of the
land. The leper in the law was to have his lip covered; so such as
are angels by office, but lepers in their lives, ought to have their
lips covered, and to be silenced. But though some deserve 'no
honour', yet such as are faithful, and make it their work to bring
souls to Christ, are to be reverenced as spiritual fathers. Obadiah
honoured the prophet Elijah. 1 Kings xviii 7. Why did God reckon the
tribe of Levi for the first-born, Num iii 13; why did he appoint that
the prince should ask counsel of God by the priest, Num xxvii 21; why
did the Lord show, by that miracle of Aaron's rod flourishing, that
he had chosen the tribe of 'Levi to minister before him,' Num xvii;
why does Christ call his apostles 'the lights of the world'; why
does he say to all his ministers, 'Lo, I am with you to the end of
the world;' but because he would have these spiritual fathers
reverenced? In ancient times the Egyptians chose their kings out of
their priests. They are far from showing this respect and honour to
their spiritual fathers who have slight thoughts of such as have the
charge of the sanctuary, and do minister before the Lord. 'Know
them,' says the apostle, 'which labour among you.' Many can be
content to know their ministers in their infirmities, and are glad
when they have anything against them, but do not know them in the
apostle's sense, so as to give them 'double honour.' Surely, were it
not for the ministry, you would not be a vineyard but a desert. Were
it not for the ministry, you would be destitute of the two seals of
the covenant, baptism and the Lord's Supper; you would be infidels;
'for faith comes by hearing; and how shall they hear without a
preacher?' Rom x 14
(2) Honour these spiritual fathers, by becoming advocates for
them, and wiping off those slanders and calumnies which are unjustly
cast upon them. 1 Tim v 19. Constantine was a great honourer of the
ministry; he vindicated them; he would not read the envious
accusations brought against them, but burnt them. Do the ministers
open their mouths to God for you in prayer, and will not you open
your mouths in their behalf? Surely, if they labour to preserve you
from hell, you should preserve them from slander; if they labour to
save your souls, you ought to save their credit.
(3) Honour them by conforming to their doctrine. The greatest
honour you can put upon your spiritual fathers, is to believe and
obey their doctrine. He is an honourer of the ministry who is not
only a hearer, but a follower of the word. As disobedience
reproaches the ministry, so obedience honours it. The apostle calls
the Thessalonians his crown. 'What is our crown of rejoicing? are
not ye?' 1 Thess ii 19. A thriving people are a minister's crown.
When there is a metamorphosis, a change wrought; when people come to
the word proud, but go away humble; when they come earthly, but they
go away heavenly; when they come, as Naaman to Jordan, lepers, but
they go away healed; then the ministry is honoured. 'Need we, as
some others, epistles of commendation?' 2 Cor iii 1. Though other
ministers might need letters of commendation, yet Paul needed none;
for, when men heard of the obedience wrought in these Corinthians by
Paul's preaching, it would be a sufficient certificate that God had
blessed his labours. The Corinthians were a sufficient honour to
him; they were his letters-testimonial. You cannot honour your
spiritual fathers more, than by thriving under their ministry, and
living upon the sermons which they preach.
[4] There is the domestic father, that is, the master. He is
paterfamilias, 'the father of the family'; therefore Naaman's
servants called their master, father. 2 Kings v 13. The centurion
calls his servant, son. Matt viii 6. (Greek.) The servant is to honour
his master, as the father of the family. Though the master be not so
qualified as he should be, yet the servant must not neglect his
duty, but show some kind of honour to him.
(1) In obeying his master in licitis et honestis, 'in things
that are lawful and honest.' 'Servants, be subject to your masters;
not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.' 1 Pet ii
18. God has nowhere given a charter of exemption to free you from
your duty. You cannot disobey your earthly master but you disobey
your master in heaven. Think not that birth, or high parts, no, nor
even grace, will exempt you from obedience to your master. To obey
him is an ordinance of God; and an apostle says, 'They that resist
the ordinance, shall receive to themselves damnation.' Rom xiii 2.
(2) The servant's honouring his master, is seen in being
diligent in his service. Apelles painted a servant with his hands
full of tools, as an emblem of diligence. The loitering servant is a
kind of thief, who, though he does not steal his master's goods,
steals the time which he should have employed in his master's
service. The slothful servant is called a 'wicked servant.' Matt xxv
26.
(3) The servant is to honour his master by being faithful. 'Who
then is a faithful and wise servant?' Matt xxiv 45. Faithfulness is
the chief thing in a servant. Faithfulness in a servant is seen in
six things: [1] In tenaciousness; in concealing the secrets the
master has intrusted you with. If those secrets are not sins, you
ought not to betray them. What is whispered in your ear you are not
to publish on the house-top. Servants who do this are spies. Who
would keep a glass that is cracked? Who would keep a servant that
has a crack in his brain, and cannot keep a secret? [2] Faithfulness
in a servant is seen in designing the master's advantage. A faithful
servant esteems his master's goods as his own. Such a servant had
Abraham; who, when his master sent him to transact business for him,
was as careful about it, as if it had been his own. 'O Lord God of
my master Abraham, I pray thee send me good speed this day, and show
kindness unto my master Abraham.' Gen xxiv 12. Doubtless Abraham's
servant was as glad he had got a wife for his master's son, as if he
had got a wife for himself. [3] Faithfulness in a servant is seen in
standing up for the honour of his master. When he hears him spoken
against, he vindicates him. As the master is careful of the
servant's body, so the servant should be careful of the master's
name. When the master is unjustly reproached the servant cannot be
excused if he be possessed with a dumb devil. [4] Faithfulness is,
when a servant is true to his word. He dares not tell a lie, but
will speak the truth, though it be against himself. A lie doubles
the sin. 'He that telleth lies, shall not tarry in my sight.' Psa
ci 7. A liar is near akin to the devil. John viii 44. And who would
let any of the devil's kindred live with him? The lie that Gehazi
told his master Elisha, entailed leprosy on Gehazi and his seed for
ever. 2 Kings v 27. In a faithful servant, the tongue is the true
index of the heart. [5] Faithfulness is, when a servant is against
impropriation. He dares not convert his master's goods to his own
use. 'Not purloining.' Tit ii 10. What a servant filches from his
master, is damnable gain. He who enriches himself by stealing from
his master, stuffs his pillow with thorns, on which his head will
lie very uneasy when he comes to die. [6] Faithfulness consists in
preserving the master's person, if unjustly in danger. Banister
betrayed his master the Duke of Buckingham, in King Richard the
Third's reign; and the judgements of God fell upon the traitorous
servant. His eldest son became mad; his daughter, of a singular
beauty, was suddenly struck with leprosy; his younger son was
drowned, and he himself was arraigned, and would have been executed,
had he not been saved by his clergy. That servant who is not true to
his master, will never be true to God or his own soul.
(4) The servant is to honour his master, by serving him, as
with love, so with silence, that is, without repining, and without
replying. 'Exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters,
not answering again.' Tit ii 9. In the Greek, 'not giving cross
answers.' Some servants who are slow at work, are quick at speech;
and instead of being sorry for a fault, provoke by unbecoming
language. Were the heart more humble, the tongue would be more
silent. The apostle's words are, 'not answering again.' To those
servants who honour their masters, or family-fathers, by submission,
diligence, faithfulness, love, and humble silence, great
encouragement is given. 'Servants, obey in all things your masters
according to the flesh, not with eye-service, knowing that of the
Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for ye serve
the Lord Christ.' Col iii 22, 24. In serving your masters, you serve
Christ, and he will not let you lose your labour; ye shall receive
the 'reward of the inheritance.' From serving on earth, you shall be
taken up to reign in heaven, and shall sit with Christ upon his
throne. Rev iii 21.
Having shown how servants are to honour their masters, I shall
next show how masters are to conduct themselves towards their
servants, so as to be honoured by them.
In general, masters must remember that they have a master in
heaven, who will call them to account. 'Knowing that your Master
also is in heaven.' Eph vi 9. More particularly: -
(1) Masters must take care to provide for their servants. As
they appoint them work, so they must give them their meat in due
season. Luke xvii 7. They should see that the food be wholesome and
sufficient. It is most unworthy of some governors of families, to
lay out so much upon their own back, as to pinch their servants'
bellies.
(2) Masters should encourage their servants in their work, by
commending them when they do well. Though a master is to tell a
servant of his faults, yet he is not always to beat on one string,
but sometimes to take notice of that which is praiseworthy. This
makes a servant more cheerful in his work, and gains the master the
love from his servant.
(3) Masters must not overburden their servants, but proportion
their work to their strength. They must not lay too much load on
their servants, to make them faint under it. Christianity teaches
compassion.
(4) Masters must seek the spiritual good of their servants.
They must be seraphim to kindle their love to religion; they must be
monitors to put them in mind of their souls; they must bring them to
the pool of the sanctuary, to wait till the angel stir the waters.
John v 4. They must seek God for them, that their servants may be
his servants; and must allow them time convenient for secret
devotion. Some are cruel to the souls of their servants; they expect
them to do the work about the house, but abridge them of the time
they should employ in working out their salvation.
(5) Masters should be mild and gentle in their behaviour
towards servants. 'Forbearing threatening.' Eph. vi 9. 'Thou shalt
not rule over him with rigour, but shalt fear thy God.' Lev xxv 43.
It requires wisdom in a master to know how to keep up his authority,
and yet avoid austerity. We have a good copy to write after our
Master in heaven, who is 'slow to anger, and of great mercy.' Psa
cxlv 8. Some masters are so harsh and implacable that they are
enough to spoil a good servant.
(6) Be very exact and punctual in the agreements you make with
your servants. Do not prevaricate; keep not back any of their wages;
nor deal deceitfully with them, as Laban did with Jacob, changing
his wages. Gen xxxi 7. Falseness in promise is as bad as false
weights.
(7) Be careful of your servants, not only in health, but in
sickness. If they have become sick while in your service, use what
means you can for their recovery; and be not like the Amalekite, who
forsook his servant when he was sick; but be as the good centurion,
who kept his sick servant, and sought to Christ for a cure. 1 Sam
xxx 13; Matt viii 6. If you have a beast that falls sick, you will not
turn it off, but have it looked to, and pay for its cure; and will
you be kinder to your horses than to your servants? Thus should
masters carry themselves prudently and piously, that they may gain
honour from their servants, and may give up their accounts to God
with joy.
[S] The natural father, the father of the flesh. Heb xii 9.
Honour thy natural father. This is so necessary a duty, that Philo
the Jew placed the fifth commandment in the first table, as though
we had not performed our whole duty to God till we had paid this
debt of honour to our natural parents. Children are the vineyard of
the parent's planting, and honour done to the parent is some of the
fruit of the vineyard.
II. Children are to show honour to their parents,
{I] By a reverential esteem of their persons. They must 'give
them a civil veneration.' Therefore, when the apostle speaks of
fathers of our bodies, he speaks also of 'giving them reverence.'
Heb xii 9. This veneration or reverence must be shown: -
(1) Inwardly, by fear mixed with love. 'Ye shall fear every man
his mother and his father.' Lev xix 3. In the commandment the father
is named first, but here the mother is first named. Partly to put
honour upon the mother, because, by reason of many weaknesses
incident to her sex, she is apt to be more slighted by children. And
partly because the mother endures more for the child.
(2) Reverence must be shown to parents outwardly, both in word
and gesture.
In word: and that either in speaking to parents, or speaking of
them. In speaking of parents, children must speak respectfully. 'Ask
on, my mother,' said king Solomon to his mother Bathsheba. 1 Kings
ii 20. In speaking of parents, children must speak honourably. They
ought to speak well of them, if they deserve well. 'Her children
arise up, and call her blessed' (Prov xxxi 28); and, in case a parent
betrays weakness and indiscretion, the child should make the best of
it, and, by wise apologies, cover his parent's nakedness.
In gesture. Children are to show reverence to their parents by
submissive behaviour, by uncovering the head, and bending the knee.
Joseph, though a great prince, and his father had grown poor, bowed
to him, and behaved himself as humbly as if his father had been the
prince, and he the poor man. Gen xlvi 29. King Solomon, when his
mother came to him, 'rose off his throne, and bowed himself unto
her.' 1 Kings ii 19. Among the Lacedemonians, if a child had carried
himself arrogantly or saucily to his father, it was lawful for the
father to appoint whom he would to be his heir. Oh, how many
children are far from thus giving reverence to their parents! They
despise their parents; they carry themselves with such pride and
neglect towards them, that they are a shame to religion, and bring
their parents' grey hairs with sorrow to the grave. 'Cursed be he
that setteth light by his father or his mother.' Deut xxvii 16. If all
that set light by their parents are cursed, how many children in our
age are under a curse! If such as are disrespectful to parents live
to have children, their own children will be thorns in their sides,
and God will make them read their sins in their punishment.
[2] The second way of showing honour to parents is by careful
obedience. 'Children, obey your parents in all things.' Col iii 20.
Our Lord Christ herein set a pattern to children. He was subject to
his parents. Luke ii 51. He to whom angels were subject was subject
to his parents. This obedience to parents is shown three ways: -
(1) In hearkening to their counsel, 'Hear the instruction of
thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.' Prov i 8.
Parents are, as it were, in the room of God; if they would teach you
the fear of the Lord, you must listen to their words as oracles, and
not be as the deaf adder to stop your ears. Eli's sons hearkened not
to the voice of their father, but were called 'sons of Belial.' 1
Sam ii 12, 25. And as children must hearken to the counsel of their
parents in spiritual matters, so in affairs which relate to this
life as in the choice of a calling, and in case of entering into
marriage. Jacob would not dispose of himself in marriage, though he
was forty years old, without the advice and consent of his parents.
Gen xxviii 1,2. Children are, as it were, the parents' proper goods and
possession, and it is great injustice in a child to give herself
away without the parents' leave. If parents should indeed counsel a
child to match with one that is irreligious or Popish, I think the
case is plain, and many of the learned are of opinion that here the
child may have a negative voice, and is not obliged to be ruled by
the parent. Children are to 'marry in the Lord;' not, therefore,
with persons irreligious, for that is not to marry in the Lord. 1
Cor vii 39.
(2) Obedience to parents is shown in complying with their
commands. A child should be the parents' echo; when the father
speaks, the child should echo back obedience. The Rechabites were
forbidden by their father to drink wine; and they obeyed him, and
were commended for it. Jer xxxv 14. Children must obey their parents
in all things. Col iii 20. In things against the grain, to which they
have most reluctance, they must obey their parents. Esau would obey
his father, when he commanded him to fetch him venison, because it
is probable he took pleasure in hunting; but refused to obey him in
a matter of greater concernment, in the choice of a wife. But though
children must obey their parents 'in all things,' yet restringitur
ad licita et honesta; 'it is with the limitation of things just and
honest.' 'Obey in the Lord,' that is, so far as the commands of
parents agree with God's commands. Eph vi 1. If they command against
God, they lose their right of being obeyed, and in this case we must
unchild ourselves.
[3] Honour is to be shown to parents in relieving their wants.
Joseph cherished his father in his old age. Gen xlvii 12. It is but
paying a just debt. Parents brought up children when they were
young, and children ought to nourish their parents when they are
old. The young storks, by an instinct of nature, bring meat to the
old ones when, by reason of age, they are not able to fly. Pliny
calls it Lex pelargica [a law of the storks]. The memory of Aeneas
was honoured for carrying his aged father out of Troy when it was on
fire. I have read of a daughter, whose father being condemned to be
starved to death, who gave him in his prison suck with her own
breasts; which, being known to the governors, procured his freedom.
Such children, or monsters shall I say, are to blame who are ashamed
of their parents when they are old and fallen into decay; and when
they ask for bread give them a stone. When houses are shut up, we
say the plague is there; when children's hearts are shut up against
their parents, the plague is there. Our blessed Saviour took great
care for his mother. When on the cross, he charged his disciple John
to take her home to him as his mother, and see that she wanted
nothing. John xix 26, 27.
III. The reasons why children should honour their parents are:
-
[1] It is a solemn command of God, 'Honour thy father,' &c. As
God's word is the rule, so his will must be the reason of our
obedience.
[2] They deserve honour in respect of the great love and
affection which they bear to their children; and the evidence of
that love both in their care and cost. Their care in bringing up
their children is a sign their hearts are full of love to them.
Parents often take more care of their children than for themselves.
They take care of them when they are tender, lest, like wall fruit,
they should be nipped in the bud. As children grow older, the care
of parents grows greater. They are afraid of their children falling
when young, and of worse than falls when they are older. Their love
is evidenced by their cost. 2 Cor xii 14. They lay up and they lay
out for their children; and are not like the raven or ostrich, which
are cruel to their young. Job xxxix 16. Parents sometimes impoverish
themselves to enrich their children. Children never can equal a
parent's love, for parents are the instruments of life to their
children, and children cannot be so to their parents.
[3] To honour parents is well pleasing to the Lord. Col iii 20.
As it is joyful to parents, so it is pleasing to the Lord. Children!
is it not your duty to please God? In honouring and obeying your
parents, you please God as well as when you repent and believe. And
that you may see how well it pleases God, he bestows a reward upon
it. 'That thy days may be long in the land which the Lord thy God
giveth thee.' Jacob would not let the angel go till he had blessed
him; and God would not part with this commandment till he had
blessed it. Paul calls this the first commandment with promise. Eph
vi 2. The second commandment has a general promise to mercy; but
this is the first commandment that has a particular promise made to
it. Long life is mentioned as a blessing. 'Thou shalt see thy
children's children.' Psa cxxviii 6. It was a great favour of God to
Moses that, though he was a hundred and twenty years old, he needed
no spectacles: 'His eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated.'
Deut xxxiv 7. God threatened it as a curse to Eli, that there should
not be an old man in his family. 1 Sam ii 31. Since the flood, life
is much abbreviated and cut short: to some the womb is their tomb;
others exchange their cradle for their grave; others die in the
flower of their age; death serves its warrant every day upon one or
other. Now, when death lies in ambush continually for us, if God
satisfies us with long life, saying (as in Psa xci 16), 'With long
life will I satisfy him;' it is to be esteemed a blessing. It is a
blessing when God gives a long time to repent, and a long time to do
service, and a long time to enjoy the comforts of relations. Upon
whom is this blessing of long life entailed, but obedient children?
'Honour thy father, that thy days may be long.' Nothing sooner
shortens life than disobedience to parents. Absalom was a
disobedient son, who sought to deprive his father of his life and
crown; and he did not live out half his days. The mule he rode upon,
being weary of such a burden, left him hanging in the oak betwixt
heaven and earth, so as not fit to tread upon the one, or to enter
into the other. Obedience to parents spins out the life. Nor does
obedience to parents lengthen life only, but sweetens it. To live
long, and not to have a foot of land, is a misery; but obedience to
parents settles land of inheritance upon the child. 'Hast thou but
one blessing, O my father,' said Esau. Behold, God has more
blessings for an obedient child than one; not only shall he have a
long life, but a fruitful land: and not only shall he have land, but
land given in love, 'the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.'
Thou shalt have thy land not only with God's leave, but with his
love. All these are powerful arguments to make children honour and
obey their parents.
Use one.
If we are to honour our fathers on earth, much more
our Father in heaven. 'If then I be a father, where is mine honour?'
Mal i 6. A father is but the instrument of conveying life, but God
is the original cause of our being. 'For it is he that has made us,
and not we ourselves.' Psa c 3. Honour and adoration is a pearl
which belongs to the crown of heaven only.
(1) We show honour to our heavenly Father by obeying him. Thus
Christ honoured his Father. 'I came down from heaven, not to do mine
own will, but the will of him that sent me.' John vi 38. This he
calls honouring God. 'I do always those things which please him.' 'I
honour my Father.' John viii 29, 49. The wise men not only bowed the
knee to Christ, but presented him with 'gold and myrrh.' Matt ii 11.
So we must not only bow the knee, give God adoration, but bring him
presents, give him golden obedience.
(2) We show honour to our heavenly Father by advocating his
cause, and standing up for his truth in an adulterous generation.
That son honours his father who stands up in his defence, and
vindicates him when he is calumniated and reproached. Do they honour
God who are ashamed of him? 'Many believed on him, but did not
confess him.' John xii 42. They are bastard-sons who are ashamed to
own their heavenly Father. Such as are born of God, are steeled with
courage for his truth; they are like the rock, which no waves can
break; like the adamant, which no sword can cut. Basil was a
champion for truth in the time of the emperor Valens; and
Athanasius, when the world was Arian, appeared for God.
(3) We show honour to our heavenly Father by ascribing the
honour of all we do to him. 'I laboured more abundantly than they
all, yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.' 1 Cor xv
l0. If a Christian has any assistance in duty, any strength against
corruption, he rears up a pillar and writes upon it, 'Hitherto has
the Lord helped me.' As when Joab had fought against Rabbah, and had
like to have taken it, sent for king David, that he might carry away
the honour of the victory; so when a child of God has any conquest
over Satan, he give all the honour to God. 2 Sam xii 27, 28.
Hypocrites, whose lamp is fed with the oil of vain glory, while they
do any eminent service to God, seek to honour themselves; and so
their very serving him is dishonouring him.
(4) We show honour to our heavenly Father by celebrating his
praise. 'Let my mouth be filled with thy praise, and with thy honour
all the day.' Psa lxxi 8. 'Blessing and honour and glory and power,
be unto him that sitteth upon the throne.' Rev v 13. Blessing God
is honouring God. It lifts him up in the eyes of others, and spreads
his fame and renown in the world. In this manner the angels, the
choristers of heaven, are now honouring God; they trumpet forth his
praise. In prayer, we act like saints, in praise like angels.
(5) We show honour to our heavenly Father, by suffering
dishonour, yea, death for his sake. Paul did bear in his body the
'marks of the Lord Jesus.' Gal vi 17. As they were the marks of
honour to him, so they were trophies of honour to the gospel. The
honour which comes to God, is not by bringing the outward pomp and
glory to him, which we do to kings; but it comes in another way, by
the suffering of his people, by which they let the world see what a
good God they serve, and how they love him, and will fight under his
banner to the death.
God is 'worthy of honour.' 'Thou art clothed with honour and
majesty.' Psa civ 1: What are all his attributes but glorious beams
shining from this sun? He deserves more honour than men or angels
can give him. 'I will call on the Lord who is worthy to be praised.'
2 Sam xxii 4. He is worthy of honour. We often confer honour upon
those that do not deserve it. To many noble persons, who are sordid
and vicious, we give titles of honour: they do not deserve honour;
but God is worthy of honour. 'Blessed be thy glorious name, which is
exalted above all blessing and praise.' Neh ix 5. He is above all
the acclamations and triumphs of the archangels. O then, let every
true child of God honour his heavenly Father! Though the wicked
dishonour him by their flagitous lives, let not his own children
dishonour him. Sins in them are worse than in others. A fault in a
stranger is not so much taken notice of as in a child. A spot in
black cloth is not so much observed, but a spot in scarlet attracts
every one's eye; so a sin in the wicked is not so much wondered at,
it is a spot in black; but a sin in a child of God is a spot in
scarlet, which is more visible, and brings odium and dishonour upon
the gospel. The sins of God's own children go nearer to his heart.
'When the Lord saw it, he abhorred them, because of the provoking of
his sons and of his daughters.' Deut xxxii 19. O forbear doing
anything that may reflect dishonour upon God. Will you disgrace your
heavenly Father? Let not God complain of the provocations of his
sons and daughters; let him not cry out, 'I have nourished and
brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.' Isa i 2.
Use two.
Does God command us to honour father and mother? Then
let children put this great duty in practice; be living commentaries
upon this commandment. Honour and reverence your parents; not only
obey their commands, but submit to their rebukes. You cannot honour
your Father in heaven unless you honour your earthly parents. To
deny obedience to parents, entails God's judgements upon children.
'The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his
mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young
eagle shall eat it.' Prov xxx 17. Eli's two disobedient sons were
slain. 1 Sam iv 2: God made a law that the 'rebellious son should be
stoned;' the same death the blasphemer had. Lev xxiv 14. 'If a man
have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of
his father, or the voice of his mother; then shall his father and
his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his
city, and all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that
he die.' Deut xxi 18, 19, 21. A father having once complained,
'Never had a father a worse son than I have;' 'Yes,' said the son,
'my grandfather had.' This was a prodigy of impudence hardly to be
paralleled. Manlius, when grown old and poor, had a son very rich,
of whom he desired some food, but the son denied him relief, yea,
disowned him from being his father, and sent him away with
reproachful language. The poor old father let fall tears in grief.
But God, to revenge the disobedience, struck the unnatural son with
madness, of which he could never be cured. Disobedient children
stand in a place where all God's arrows fly.
Use three.
Let parents so act that they may gain honour from
their children.
How should parents so act towards their children as to be
honoured and reverenced by them?
(1) Be careful to bring them up in the fear and nurture of the
Lord. 'Bring them up in the admonition of the Lord.' Eph vi 4. You
conveyed the plague of sin to them, therefore endeavour to get them
healed and sanctified. Augustine says that his mother, Monica,
travailed more for his spiritual birth than his natural. Timothy's
mother instructed him from a child. 2 Tim iii 15. She not only gave
him her breast-milk, but 'the sincere milk of the word.' Season your
children with good principles betides, that they may, with Obadiah,
fear the Lord from their youth. 1 Kings xviii 12. When parents
instruct not their children, they seldom prove blessings. God often
punishes the carelessness of parents with undutifulness in their
children. It is not enough that in baptism your child is dedicated
to God, but it must be educated for him. Children are young plants
which you must be continually watering with good instruction. 'Train
up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not
depart from it.' Prov xxii 6. The more your children fear God, the
more they will honour you.
(2) If you would have your children honour you, keep up
parental authority: be kind, but do not spoil them. If you let them
get too much ahead, they will condemn you instead of honouring you.
The rod of discipline must not be withheld. 'Thou shalt beat him
with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.' Prov xxiii 14. A child
indulged and humoured in wickedness, will be a thorn in the parent's
eye. David spoiled Adonijah. 'His father had not displeased him at
any time, in saying, Why hast thou done so?' 1 Kings i 6, 7, 9.
Afterwards he became a grief of heart to his father, and was false
to the crown. Keep up your authority, and you keep up your honour.
(3) Provide for your children what is fitting, both in their
minority and when they come to maturity. 'The children ought not to
lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.' 2 Cor xii
14. They are your own flesh and, as the apostle says, 'No man ever
yet hated his own flesh.' Eph v 29. The parents' bountifulness will
cause dutifulness in the child. If you pour water into a pump, the
pump will send water again out freely; so, if parents pour in
something of their estate to their children, children worthy of the
name will pour out obedience again to their parents.
(4) When your children are grown up, put them to some lawful
calling, wherein they may serve their generation. It is good to
consult the natural genius and inclination of a child, for forced
callings do as ill, sometimes, as forced matches. To let a child be
out of a calling, is to expose him to temptation. Melanchthon says,
Odium balneum diaboli [Idleness is the devil's pleasure resort]. A
child out of a calling is like fallow ground; and what can you
expect should grow up but weeds of disobedience.
(5) Act lovingly to your children. In all your counsels and
commands let them read love. Love will command honour; and how can a
parent but love the child who is his living picture, nay, part of
himself. The child is the father in the second edition.
(6) Act prudently towards your children. It is a great point of
prudence in a parent not to provoke his children to wrath. 'Fathers,
provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.' Col
iii 21.
How may a parent provoke his children to wrath?
(1) By giving them opprobrious terms. 'Thou son of the perverse
rebellious woman,' said Saul to his son Jonathan. 1 Sam xx 30. Some
parents use imprecations and curses to their children, which provoke
them to wrath. Would you have God bless your children, and do you
curse them?
(2) Parents provoke children to wrath when they strike them
without a cause, or when the correction exceeds the fault. This is
to be a tyrant rather than a father. Saul cast a javelin at his son
to smite him, and his son was provoked to anger. 'So Jonathan arose
from the table in fierce anger.' I Sam xx 33, 34. In filium pater
obtinet non tyrannicum imperium, set basilicum [A father exercises a
kingly power over his son, not that of a tyrant]. Davenant.
(3) When parents deny their children what is absolutely
needful. Some have thus provoked their children: they have stinted
them, and kept them so short, that they have forced them upon
indirect courses, and made them put forth their hands to iniquity.
(4) When parents act partially towards their children, showing
more kindness to one than to another. Though a parent may have a
greater love to one child, yet discretion should lead him not to
show more love to one than to another. Jacob showed more love to
Joseph than to all his other children, which provoked the envy of
his brethren. 'Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children,
and when his brethren saw that, they hated him, and could not speak
peaceably to him.' Gen xxxvii 3, 4.
(5) When a parent does anything which is sordid and unworthy,
which casts disgrace upon himself and his family, as to defraud or
take a false oath, it provokes the child to wrath. As the child
should honour his father, so the father should not dishonour the
child.
(6) When parents lay commands upon their children which they
cannot perform without wronging their consciences. Saul commanded
his son Jonathan to bring David to him. 'Fetch him to me, for he
shall surely die.' I Sam xx 31. Jonathan could not do this with a
good conscience; but was provoked to anger. 'Jonathan arose from the
table in fierce anger.' I Sam xx 34. The reason why parents should
show their prudence in not provoking their children to wrath, is
this: 'Lest they be discouraged.' Col iii 21. This word 'discouraged'
implies three things. Grief. The parent's provoking the child, the
child so takes it to heart, that it causes premature death.
Despondency. The parents' austerity dispirits the child, and makes
it unfit for service; like members of the body stupefied, which are
unfit for work. Contumacy and refractoriness. The child being
provoked by the cruel and unnatural carriage of the parent, grows
desperate, and often studies to irritate and vex his parents; which,
though it be evil in the child, yet the parent is accessory to it,
as being the occasion of it.
(7) If you would have honour from your children, pray much for
them. Not only lay up a portion for them, but lay up a stock of
prayer for them. Monica prayed much for her son Augustine; and it
was said, it was impossible that a son of so many prayers and tears
should perish. Pray that your children may be preserved from the
contagion of the times; pray that as your children bear your images
in their faces, they may bear God's image in their hearts; pray that
they may be instruments and vessels of glory. One fruit of prayer
may be, that the child will honour a praying parent.
(8) Encourage that which you see good and commendable in your
children. Virtus laudata crescit [Goodness increases when praised].
Commending that which is good in your children makes them more in
love with virtuous actions; and is like the watering of plants,
which makes them grow more. Some parents discourage the good they
see in their children, and so nip virtue in the bud, and help to
damn their children's souls. They have their children's curses.
(9) If you would have honour from your children, set them a
good example. It makes children despise parents, when the parents
live in contradiction to their own precepts; when they bid their
children be sober, and yet they themselves get drunk; or bid their
children fear God, and are themselves loose in their lives. Oh if
you would have your children honour you, teach them by a holy
example. A father is a looking-glass, which the child often dresses
himself by; let the glass be clear and not spotted. Parents should
observe great decorum in their whole conduct, lest they give
occasion to their children to say to them, as Plato's servant, 'My
master has made a book against rash anger, but he himself is
passionate;' or, as a son once said to his father, 'If I have done
evil, I have learned it of you.'
